Soul Words

I am glad to call myself independent,
To have grown from my mistakes,
To have stood up for myself,
To have Jesus as my only concern,
To be able to see situations from different perspectives,
To reserve my love and,
Care for those who truly need it,
To appreciate my days not only
For the benefits but for all the goodness God shows me.

I am glad to say ''I am good'' when people ask me how am I doing,
Because I really am. I have problems, but I see beyond today.
I am glad to accept me for who I am
Without needing the acceptance of the world,
Without needing any material love.
I am glad to be able to BREATHE.
To be ME from AM till I go to sleep.
To be able to finally speak the truth. MY truth.
Because my lips have been long condemn for reasons that I now regret.

I live life FULLY, knowing that everyday counts
Because we only have 86,400 seconds in a day to turn it
All around or to throw it all away.
To be able to make my own sounds,
Because everyday is a song,
With different melodies and different words.

To be able to call myself STRONG
Because I have always been,
Because I no longer step on wood, I step on steel.
From today, till the day I leave.

Lo Que He Aprendido (poema para tu primer aniversario)

He aprendido que estas lágrimas no pierden valor si son en tu nombre y

cada gota derramada me trae un recuerdo tuyo.

He despertado todos mis instintos en busca de ti y

mis sentimientos se desvelan en cada esquina de mi piel.

Mis ojos buscan tus ojos y en cada hombre vive la esperanza de verte,

por lo menos una vez más.

Quisiera abrir ese hoyo en el que tu cuerpo descansa y

contemplarte hasta imaginar un despertar, mientras mi mente

batalla con la verdad de que hoy día te visito a una tumba.

He aprendido que no necesito dar amor a quienes nunca les he importado

pues si no me amaban antes de tu partida, hoy día ya es tarde.

He aprendido a sufrir en silencio, a llorar solo aquí, en mi corazón,

porque los humanos son expertos en manipular y la debilidad es el pase a lastimar.

Me he vuelto un laberinto de palabras, a veces no sé si vivo o si muero, si lloro por dentro o por fuera. Mis días se convierten en noches al parpadear y tristeza -esa condenada- vive recordándome que ya no tengo Papa.

He aprendido a susurrarle al viento cuanto te extraño,

he aprendido a apreciar esas diminutas vainas que nosotros los vivos ya ni miramos.

Un día creo olvidar el dolor y otros días lucho contra el viento para que no me inunde de oscuridad.

Hoy desperté, entre la confusión de saber dónde me encontraba, y

la esperanza de que esta fecha volviera a ser solamente un ayer,

pero hoy he aprendido que tengo que enfrentar esta verdad y entre mis aprendizajes,

He aprendido amarte a distancia.

"Hay un lugar en donde nunca te olvidare... ese lugar es mi corazón"

Height

Height is the distance between the bottom 

And top, between greatness and madness. 

Height is a jump, is a step, 

And is also a fall.

Few find it intimidating, being at the top, 

Or even at the bottom of any height.

This fear rises from the sensation 

Of an unexpected result.

It is not knowing whether pain

Will be greater at the high of heights,

Or the lowest of height. 

Height can be a challenge, a dream,

Or a person. 

And to me, height is you.

I have always aimed for gentle, loving,

Matured, focused, spiritual,

And darling, you 

Are all of the above. 

You have lay down 

A fine thread for me to cross,

I have you so close, 

Almost a hand away from falling,

And that is where my fear begins. 

I fear you,

I fear having you 

one step closer,

I crash to your being 

In my thoughts.

In every chance I get,

I feed myself a little of

The great man that you are,

And slowly,

All my wounds cease to ache. 

There is fire in the waters below,

I see it from this height but,

I focus on your light,

Trying to make sense of my feelings,

And at the same time 

Channeling some sense into my blood. 

It all makes sense, 

It is clear you will let me slip,

So I let the fool in me take over,

And enjoy the light.

Feed myself a little more, 

Gaze at your eyes long enough,

So that I have something to reminisce 

During my free fall.  

Ultimately that is all I will have,

the memory of a gaze, 

A thought of what never was.

An unreachable height. 

And I will drown once again 

In the waters of fire, 

After a long fall in the madness.

Until the next poem rises from my insides 

Claiming a story that never existed.  

I fear you height.