Sunday, January 31, 2010

14 versos del pensamiento

Se que el tiempo explicara mis sentimientos.

que todo estas dudas son culpa de mis celos.
Se que el Amor es una trampa maldita.
Y yo no tengo valor para enfrentar mis dias.

Pero estos celos no quieren callar.
Ellos deciden expresar miedos y verguenzas, entre dos.
Yo no quiero sufrir, pero tampoco quiero ser mentida.
No quiero imaginar cosas que no son, que no estan.


Si me tienes que decir adios hazlo ahora.
Antes que mi corazon siga adelante con este amor.
Porque mi corazon nunca escucha razon.
Y solo huye al zumbido de Dolor.


Prefiero morir en la carrera que llegar a una meta vacia.
Prefiero entregarlo todo y quedarme descalza antes que sufrir la paliza.


Jure no abrir mi corazon tan facil, no entregarlo todo a la ligera.
Pero este corazon es mas masoquista de lo que imagine.
No entiende mis temores, solo quiere libertad lo se.

Yo se que debo callar algunos sentimientos.
Pero mi corazon cada dia late mas fuerte.
Quisiera olvidar que tengo un corazon,
Sera eso posible?

No quiero forzar palabras que no estan en ti.
Pero mis labios mueren por hablar,
Decir cosas que siento ya.

No espero a que sientas todo lo que esta aqui,
Ni que repitas cada sentimiento, como el eco al mar.
Solo entiende que,

Te quiero amar.


Quisiera que el tiempo pase, para poder expresar lo que rodea mi cabeza.
Pero otra ves, quiero evitar sufrimiento.
Todo esta pasando tan rapido. Ya nose en que pensar.
Nose si esto sea verdadero o si lo estare soñando una vez mas.

Como evitar que mi corazon lata tan rapido y piense en volar?

Pero despues de todas mis dudas siempre viene este deseo que me tira al suelo.
Despues de cada desahogo de celos inmensos,
Viene este Amor que te tengo,
A rondar mi cabeza, a hundirme en sueños
Y despues de eso ya no tengo nada, ni preguntas, ni miedos..
No necesito, ni quiero nada.

Solo me quedas Tu.

Y regreso a ti.
Con brazos abiertos, con corazon en mano.
Callando de nuevo,
Entregando todo en silencio.



Saturday, January 30, 2010

Sonnet Elegy for Haiti

Oh, mother nature you speak always soft,
but this time you did not speak as we thought.
Sometimes I wonder what we did so wrong
but no answers are given for this fall.

Oh, mother nature now what's left of us?
we cry our lungs out but that isn't enough.
Our loved ones you've taken away from us.
Pain now surrounds us as our eyes you bluff.

I've nothing to give but prayers to God.
I'm still in this world and I want to find why.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Put my heart on top of a cold stone this time.

It has been 2 years now.
Since the first time I met his eyes.
Things been so wrong since then.
I have gotten so many different sights from my heart.
First hate & rejection.
Then kindness & understanding.
We've been through so much (or at least that's how I see it)
you have been rude to me & I have been rude to you.
But 3 months to now, things have change. Suddenly I seem to hear the sound of my heart beat faster at
the sound of your steps. Suddenly my day seem to bright up at the thought of your presence.
But even then I didn't put much of attention to this feeling
and just laugh at the idea of really feeling something for you.
I mean. I never thought this could happen to me.
And when I realize how much of this power have gone out of control. I just shake my head and all thoughts involved.
So, I decided to stop any type of absolute bond with you.
Of course, we don't talk. And as long as this feeling over-runs my head it would stay that way.
Pathetic I feel sometimes, when to cease my thirsts I run behind you. I feel like crying my heart out
and let you know of this...Obsession. But of course that would be like stabbing my heart with a knife and scissors.
But today was the extreme. Besides being a ridiculous Stalker. I google "what to do when you have a crush  on a teacher" I could barely remember everything I read. The only words that stood out were: Illegal, NOT in love, Impossible, Phase, Temporary, Obsession.... and I felt so dumb.
I look at myself in the mirror and I laugh. Is this alright?
They say it's just a phase, to enjoy the feeling while it lasts because 3 years from now this would just be a memory. I hope these years pass on quick because everytime you get an inch closed, my air disappears. I don't see this as something "Fun" anymore. This bothers me, this feeling of wanting something Impossible. It hurts to dream alone, is like a curse. This feeling come and go, I can leave for weeks and come back and this desire will still be there. I can get distracted and not see you for a week. And as soon as you meet my eyes in the hall way my whole body shakes. Goose bumps, shocks, I can feel the burning blood rush through my veins in a sec. My body becomes numb and my face turns blank with no expression, time stops for me. All this in a merely second, or perhaps more because the next thing I hear is the late bell.
is it fair? not really. does he know? well isn't it obvious?

Friday, January 15, 2010

P.6

Believe in the magic of Power and Love.
Believe in the dreams that you faithfully hold.
Open the door, that you thought was lock.
Enter the room were strength is reborn.


Color the walls in white marvel dots.
Dream big and you'll land among stars & more.
Even if you think you won't get there.
Trust me you'll be surprised by the results.


Dreams are made for you, so what are you waiting for?
For the steps to come and go?
Get your feet on the road.
Start creating. soon you'll be on the top.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Fresh start

I decided to start my year FRESH.
set my goals, start my changes, trace lines.

Many people might hate the new changes,
others might get hurt.

But I decided that this time I will care about ME.
Take decisions that are absolutely and ONLY good for ME.
period. End of the story.

Like it or not, that would stay the truth for this entire year (;