Hope in our venue

I've never thought love
could mean so little to me
as it does nowadays. Your words have no
inspiration to my dreams, anymore.
It might be my eyes; tired of loosing
sleep trying to understand you or
maybe my so called feelings are finally
fading as I once wished they would.

I don't want to sound like a hypocrite
but even when I say I love you,
I can't feel the spark anymore.
I search for more than hopes,
I search for fire. The one that sets
the music to my soul and takes me away.
But as I reach my favorite place in the sky,
I no longer find you there.

Falling in love is magical but falling
out of love is tragical. I've loved you
for so long that I can't remember what
it was like to not be in love with you.
But what can we do now that your plan
to keep me close, took away all of
what belonged to you.

Help me find my way back to you.
Help me pursue hope in our venue again.
Take my hand and never again let go,
cause that might be our last chance to be in love.

Give Me

Those words that linger in your
tongue can cure all of my soul.
And those eyes have the blues that gives
me hope of a brighter future.
Your lips are the evidence that heaven exists,
impulsing me to sail your body like an ocean
without limits.
In your arms I find the route of strength
to defy the world.
And your voice, so sweet, softens
my cruel nights.
My philosophy and my religion is to search
for a reason to live in your heart.
My only philosophy and religion
is the theory of reaching your soul.
Give me a reason, a sign, give me some of your hope.
Give me your first time, your loneliness, your fears,
your first kiss. Give me everything you have. Give me
a little more of you and I will give you a little more of me.
Give me a minute of your life to find happiness in your heart.

Set those words free.

Au Revoir to my Bonjour

What is France without Bonjour?

It's love without affection, it's a night

without the moon: empty and solitary of a soul.

It is a kiss never given or words never spoken and 

if so, there is no moment that can give back the real

Bonjour. 

France would then, no longer mean anything to the lovers 

neither to the dreamers or to the painters. It's no longer a 

description of what used to be happiness but rather empty actions of lust. 

France without Bonjour it's what I call you; 

with your attitude so carefree that makes me 

feel so weak, with your so called reality that reminds me 

of empty streets in Berlin. And your smile of a king....That gives it all away.

"Bonjour" I say to you but, there is no hello in a goodbye like this,

cause my France has been destroyed for lack of faith and

hope for this love. "Au Revoir France"

I can't help

I can't help wanting you.
I can't help feeling like someone
that you don't need in your life.
I can't help not feeling loved.
I can't help wanting to be there,
even when you don't want me to.
I can't help falling in love,
and wanting to repeat those words
over, and over again.
I can't help being stubborn around you,
since being stubborn is what has kept me
close to you after all.
I can't help wanting to see, touch, hear
you; Feel your breath right next to me.
I can't help putting on replay those
songs you love so much.
I can't help being scare, fearing loosing
you or loosing me instead.
I can't help not agreeing with our
agreenment. What happens if our plan
doesn't work?
I can't help being jealous of the
idea of another girl being there.
I can't help being selfish.
I can't help missing you this much.
I can't help my heart from beating
the heck out of me when I have your attention.
I can't help thinking about you in the car,
at work, on my way to church.
I can't help it, I can't help myself.
I might be wrong, I know. But you can't
help this stubborn soul, now can you?

The streets.

Untitled it's my heart,
and blank as this notepad
when I first opened it.

I listen to the sweet words of love,
tasting the eco silence of broken homes. 

No emptiness lives in me yet my streets are solitary.

I don't search for adventures yet 

the enigma of life hunts me. 

And whenever I doubt myself, 

I remember that I am stronger than before because after all those bombs,
I've become immune to love.

I live in an empty battle, 

walk my streets
stepping on dry blood.

I wonder if the sun
has ever wanted to enlight my world.

As I walk my familiar streets
I get the feeling of Robert Neville.
"Where's my sam?" 

I say and laugh.
-No human being would like to be next to
you. You're a monster remember that.-
is those silly thoughts 

that keep me cold. 

My hands numb and my eyes,
dark.

"I'd like to think I'm a pretty
monster at least" 

so I run my cold fingers 

through my hair
as if that would 

make a difference...

"Trust me. I will never hurt you"
words that still bounce in my head.

I leave my world for two seconds

and remember the hot weather, 

the petty kiss, given.
I rewind the last walk,

the last hug, as I

Loose Internal Energy Slowly.

I come back to my world 

and realize I've been walking 

in circles for the past
couple of hours.

It's getting colder, 

so I kiss the air goodbye. 

And start walking back

to my home. 

A pesar de la soledad, soy libre.

I tell myself.

La obra falsa

Ya paro aqui de llover,
ya no duele mi voz al beber.
Tomo dos copas y baja el telon,
de esta historia falsa de amor.
Veo actores como juegan mi papel, y me pregunto
si morire esta vez por culpa de un maldito error.

Tomo el riesgo por quinta vez, soy sincera
y torpe a la vez. Empieza la lluvia y la escucho caer,
al ritmo del sonido de mi corazon. Mis latidos van muriendo
al compas del amor.Queman mis entrañas por culpa del alcohol.
bendito Smirnoff!
 
Mi alma tiene la dicha de sentir, y aveces ser feliz.
Pero dentro de la historia, de la obra, o vida real, vivo muriendo,
acaso no soy real? Ya mis alas van desapareciendo, muero lento y
rapido a la vez. Baja el telon tan rapido como baja el alcohol.
Muero por quinta vez, en esta obra falsa de amor.

P. 75

There is nothing else but broken hearts,

in this solitary life of mines. Nothing

else still alive, in this battle field of life.

Blood running through empty streets.

Amazing to see, all this pain she has caused to me.

Amazed to see all the wounded hearts,

Surprising to know I'm not the only one,

she played. Is she happy to see all this pain, I wonder.

Is she able to sleep in peace, alone.

A cold blooded person with no mercy for love.

Your words were nothing, Still are nothing just, empty holes.

Just throwing that out there

Such an intense life of mines.
See, my world -or perhaps-
our world tends to give me
this intuitions of who to trust.
Yet, the heart -this piece of
muscle I carry around-
is just as intense as the mind.
So, when these communist rebellious,

stubborn organs reach both

of its level, their

energies as if part of an

Equilibrium cancel out

to cause this neutral, empty,

zero gravity feeling that

drives me to the insane yet

pacific world of poetry.

Unfortunately this phase

can only last for so long

and at the end, the heart

takes the last stand on my rational

decisions.

Stubborn, spoiled, little

piece of shit.

To love

To love, there must be a reason

that may or may not be rational

but that indeed explains why that person

deserves the strong affection.

There must be something different,

brilliant, special, authentic, that goes

beyond physical, external appearances,

that makes that feeling as essential

as we make it.

And as I analyze the why of you and me;

I must say I find it surprising to know that all 

the reasons I thought I had to love you:

make no sense at all.

I mean, love is not a place of common sense,

really is not. But if I can't clearly and coherently 

explain that feeling, then how can I call it Love?

See, lust is a tricky feeling that lies underneath 

connections of appearances, and that fine line

between two bodies that attract each other, can 

indeed be confused as love.

So, if that was the case -my case-

could it be possible to ever suffer for lust?

Don't let them in.

"If you let it in, it will suck you up until there is nothing left of you"

Soft voice knocking at my door. I smile and look through the window, 

a strange figure dressed in a very appealing way smiles and ask me for 

an invitation to enter my house. My inside yells No, 

but something never felt before, calls me to open.

They are mythological or folkloric beings who subsist by feeding on the life essence (generally in the form of blood) of living creatures, regardless of whether they are undead or a living person.

    I turn around and start walking towards my room to clean the mess of my last visitor, who had left me heart broken, as usual. Nude from my toes to my soul, I search for clean clothes to dress with. While the strange figure awaits at my door, music from the radio blast my soul, and
I start to smile at the thought of having someone to 

love.

"He/she may not enter anywhere at first, unless there be some member of the household to bid him/her to come; though afterward he/she can come as he/she pleases.

Confused and desperate, in need of an exit of all this mess, I wonder through my mind if the person at my door would mind the disaster surrounding me. I rush to the mirror and comb my dark hair. Through the reflection of the mirror that points the window of my room, I see the eyes of an owl observing my moves, I turn. His eyes look straight at me, as if could answer any question... 

-I'm scared. I mumble,

-everything will be fine. Trust me.

-But I'm loosing me. 

-I will help you find you. Just open the door.

I take a look outside the window, surprised.

 I didn't notice how fast the night has fallen.

They have control over the animal world and can turn into a bat, rat, owl, moth, fox, or wolf.

May this stranger be my hope, shaped in a different form? Trembled, fear, curiosity. 

Never took this long for me to invite or revoke someones invitation to my home.

There is something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, yelling to avoid this guest,

Consuming, confusing me. This lack of self-control, I fear is never ending. 

Nude to my soul, can't find the appropriate clothing to dress myself with. 

The visitor awaits, while its voice asks one more time, 

"let me in".

"It initially emerges as a soft blurry shape with no bones. “bags of blood” with red, glowing eyes. If he/she could survive for 40 days, he/she would then develop bones and a body and become much more dangerous and difficult to kill"

 The pressure of the guest starts to make me nervous. 

Am I loosing my only chance? 

I don't wanna say no, but something in me fears that opening this door 

could lead to something different of what I expect. As I put on my purple dress, 

I walk towards the door, decided to open and let my guest in.

"There is nothing to fear" I tell myself.

  I lied.

They are just like fleas - They cheat a little.

As I unlock the door, I see the sun rise and stare with amusement for couple of minutes. "OPEN THE DOOR" he yells, but its figure its that of a woman's flesh. Confused to the light that reflects a horrified image. 

she grabs my hands and asks me one more time,

 -do you trust me?

 -I don't know you

   -Just let me in, invite me in. NOW!

-Come i...

without finishing my words, the figure smiles and grabs my neck. I fear for my life.but there is no time to think, or fear, or ask. I feel something burn my insides. Pleasure and Pain in a merely second. 

-Let go. I cried.  

-Please, let me go 

As I start to loose conscious I go back to the memory of my father's last words.

"If you let the vampire in, they will suck your blood until there is nothing left of you".

  

I thought he was crazy but as I smile, I grabbed the silver knife he was given me to protect myself. 

I come back to my reality and reach the left pocket of my purple dress. 

I had no idea what I was about to do, with the last strength left in my body,

I stab its left back side, penetrating his/her heart and accidentally  penetrating my chest. 

We both lay unconscious on the floor. 

I taste blood on my lips, but was not sure of  whether was my own, 

or the creature I had just assassinated. I had saved my life but had destroy my soul. 

As I recover my consciousness I reach for the wound but find no hole,  

just a broken cross covered in blood. Where did it come from?

Could it be possible? Was I saved?  

With blood running through my fingers, I grab the cross from under the dress 

to find myself holding the rest of a rosary.

Silver is known for its pure qualities and is used to keep away evil spirits, vampires, werewolves and other evil beings for centuries. Silver can be melted down to form amulets, jewelry, bullets, daggers and religious symbols such as crucifixes.

 

Let me in- wallpaper

P. 73

Before I conduce

these feelings to the suit case

of memories; I stand

here wanting to accomplish

one last wish. Before I send 

these tenderness to hell; I want

to get drunk with your kisses, again.

Run your fingers through my hair one more

time, give me the chills that my body wants.

and while your hands slip through my back,

whisper in my ear; I love you, for the last time.

Turn the last page where the book

finally ends. Let's alter its present ending,

and make it a worth reading page.

P. 72

What is life after a break of heart?

It's a teardrop in the sky. It's expecting

a never incoming call. It's a kiss on a cheek

when all you want, its a taste of his lips.

It's dreaming and not wanting to wake up because,

only in your dreams you can have everything you

really want because everything you ever wanted was,

to have him in your arms.

 

By: Linda Bergkvist

A letter to you

Sometimes I criticize myself harshly
and as I degrade myself, the same prospective
I have on me, it's the one I receive from others.
That is why Poetry is such a powerful tool
for me because through it, I can say what my heart
has never yelled before without judgment. But today
I don't wanna direct this note to me, this time
I am writing for someone else.

I think there is a time for sorrow,
and there is a time for happiness,
there is a time for receiving and accepting.
but there is also a time to be grateful.

I am grateful today and that is why,
I am writing a letter to you. To those who take
the time to read my poems and experiment with me,
the characters in my head.

Every poem written represents an essence of me,
a character, an emotion, a feeling, all developed by my
soul -and now and then by my mind- and
when you read it you take with you, a memory
of me. Thank You for that. Whether you enjoy them
or whether you believe there is work to be done in these poems.
-trust me I know there is-
Just the fact that you're reading this note,
inspires me to keep writing.

And yes I do write to free my soul. I write because I love it,
I write because is the only thing, place, action
that has no limits. I write because I can. But,
I also write because I want you to find yourself in my poems,
if that's possible. I want these poems to take you to another place,
to a sort of adventure, moment, a memory in where you find different
feelings you never had before or maybe feelings that you
had, that never thought someone else could have,
and through that action obtain a smile or 
tear if so your heart wishes.

I don't know you yet you already own a part of me
and see, poetry is not about what you see 
but what you feel. So, I hope that as you read my older posts
and my upcoming ones, these will be able to transport you
to a different world, that would bring you -as they bring me-:
Peace and of course, Joy.

With love,

The Author

P. 70

Esta noche no quiero dormir.
Esta noche no quiero estudiar,
hoy quiero hundirme en tus recuerdos
y de ellos despertar, este amor
que nunca muere. Este amor
que me hace sonar.

Tus besos cada dia se repiten en mi
memoria. Tus manos atravezando mi cintura,
el placer de sentir tu cuerpo, tu calor,
sobre mi pecho, dentro de mi.Tu voz
que hacia mi interior temblar.
El susurro de tus labios en mi oido,
bello placer. Unico placer, que solo
tu me sabias dar.

Y cuando despierto de ese transito
de recuerdos, vuelvo a ver aquella fotografia.
La unica viva de lo nuestro. Mi unica prueba de que este
amor no fue solo un sueno. Mi unica prueba de que
un dia si me amaste de verdad.

Sooner than later remix

You forgot to call me
on my birthday. I lied,
Your not the last thing on my mind.
There is something you can do to fix it.
Right now I just want you by my side.


When our love don't spark the same way that
it used to and you finally get a moment to
yourself. You'll realize I'm everything you're
missing. But your problem, you don't know how to express.


So can you do us a favor, can you pull it together
make it sooner than later life won't wait here for ever
and will realized we waited too long.
Let's make this official.


Cause you don't need no one else. And I don't
need no one else. Cause you don't need no one else. And I
don't need no one else. x2 (chorus)


We got this love connection can't explain it.
You need to hear what my heart is yelling out.
Wishing you could just step your game up.
Please, get it straight. I'm dying to try.


So can you do love a favor, can you pull it together
make it sooner than later. Life won't wait here for
ever and will realized we waited too long. Let's make this
official.


Cause you don't need no one else. And I don't
need no one else. Cause you don't need no one else. And I
don't need no one else. x2 (chorus)


We been on and off for a while. You're the one for me is plain
and simple. Please don't let time pass us by. Love is waiting.
Let's make our love official.

p.69

Last night I ceased

my thirst of you.

Last night, I felt

your warmth invade every

extreme cold stone

of me.

In one night

we made up to the hundreds of

lonely days I had spent without

you. And who would of ever thought,

that heaven was accessible

in less than 20.

As our bodies

laid together we found ourselves;

sharing same dreams,

sharing same fire,

sharing same Passion.

Beauty to the eyes of those watching.

We made love to the moon. With every touch

a new troth came alive. My hands,

driving up and down each curve of your body,

discovering in every corner, a new secret

of you.

The perfume of your skin

drove me to heaven and, in my

elevation I found myself

holding two worlds.

The hot weather of hell,

The passion from your moves,

The voice coming from your insides as I

left the gates of the infernal destination

of empty streets. A sleepless night.

Your heart

whispered my name,

begging for more of me,

of the pleasure that only I,

could give to your mistreated

soul.

I heard you say something

but my thirst for you was not over.

I searched for the place where

we would reunite. Where only you

and I could connect completely,

without nature's interference. I searched for

that sweet muscle that I had not yet

explored. The place that goes beyond your lips.

Where your words rest and your throat breaths.

Your tongue danced away as if scare to get lost

but did not hold too long because as me, she was also curious.

I had experienced everything in one night. From hell to heaven

I had felt every corner of you,thus far the biggest pleasure laid on your tongue.

And there was our pact of eternity, the ultimate connection missing from ourselves.

"no more." you whispered, as I rest my head between your chest and

fell asleep to the beautiful harmony of your beating heart. 

"no more." 



2011ntroduction

It's been -almost- three years since I created this blog.
This place has become my second* spiritual Home.
I visit a lot even when I don't constantly post because,
just being here brings me peace.

For this new year I want to start
posting songs which I have written,
or remix I have edited from other songs,
I also want to post more photos and poems in spanish.
-lately I have felt as if my spanish is becoming weaker
and weaker, y no me esta gustando eso!-

I am also thinking of having a translator link site
on the website for those who don't speak spanish so that
they may have an idea of what I am talking about in the poems.

I might not post for a while or I might. Right
now I want to do an overall review of my poems in order
to judge myself. I know I need to edit some. I have seen a
big grammar issue in a lot of them. You know, house keeping stuff.

So, I hope everyone is having a great head of start of the year.
2011 is going to be full of changes, constant changes so I am hoping
to be able to stay in task. I been a little out of the world lately
but I am trying to stay as tight to myself as possible. Thank You.

Sincerely,

The author.