Thoughts of a kid.

"You're just a kid! you don't know what you're doing"

I put my head between my hands and allow a tear to run down my cheek.
As she calls my name I open the door and walked out, not knowing where to head.
I just knew I had to get out of that place.

My heart starts racing and I start walking fast.
I was looking for a place where no one would know
who I was. I look straight up and read Baskin robbins "not quite" I tell myself,
I look to my right, I see Musicalia "Bingo!"

The bell on top of the door rang as soon as I walked in,
and a man in a black suit welcome me and say,
"En que puedo ayudarle señorita?" (how may I help you miss?)
"Puedes retroceder el tiempo por mi?" (can you rewind time for me?)
The man look straight at me and then walks away. I smiled.

- just a kid huh-

The store was sort of surprising. I walked around a little bit reading the name
of artists out loud in my head. "Rancheras, Melody, Ricky Martin, Wisin y yandel."
and then I find a little cafeteria, I walked in. Go up to the person working there and while
my mind was deciding what to do with my thoughts, I put 100 pesos en la mesa and ask for a coke.

I just wish she knew, just wish so bad she knew! the sin she had committed;
the violation to my heart, to my thoughts, the who I am.
How could you, damn human? betray my heart!
Destroy part of the kingdom that I!
with my own hands have created.

Where is my Beowulf? oh dearest god I have found the Grendel of earth!
how do you dare, dirty human, to constrain me from something that have done no harm to
anyone.

"It's the truth anyways!, they all fake me love"

I take a zip of my coke, and remember the last conversation I had with my aunt..
she said I was old enough to know that coke would eventually kill me and then she asked me,
"do you want to die?"

I wonder.. I JUST wonder..
what would kill me first?

The lack of ignorance in my surrounds?
The lack of love?
The lack of understanding?
The lack of peace in the world?
The lack of Hope?
Or...
a bottle of coke?