p.69

Last night I ceased

my thirst of you.

Last night, I felt

your warmth invade every

extreme cold stone

of me.

In one night

we made up to the hundreds of

lonely days I had spent without

you. And who would of ever thought,

that heaven was accessible

in less than 20.

As our bodies

laid together we found ourselves;

sharing same dreams,

sharing same fire,

sharing same Passion.

Beauty to the eyes of those watching.

We made love to the moon. With every touch

a new troth came alive. My hands,

driving up and down each curve of your body,

discovering in every corner, a new secret

of you.

The perfume of your skin

drove me to heaven and, in my

elevation I found myself

holding two worlds.

The hot weather of hell,

The passion from your moves,

The voice coming from your insides as I

left the gates of the infernal destination

of empty streets. A sleepless night.

Your heart

whispered my name,

begging for more of me,

of the pleasure that only I,

could give to your mistreated

soul.

I heard you say something

but my thirst for you was not over.

I searched for the place where

we would reunite. Where only you

and I could connect completely,

without nature's interference. I searched for

that sweet muscle that I had not yet

explored. The place that goes beyond your lips.

Where your words rest and your throat breaths.

Your tongue danced away as if scare to get lost

but did not hold too long because as me, she was also curious.

I had experienced everything in one night. From hell to heaven

I had felt every corner of you,thus far the biggest pleasure laid on your tongue.

And there was our pact of eternity, the ultimate connection missing from ourselves.

"no more." you whispered, as I rest my head between your chest and

fell asleep to the beautiful harmony of your beating heart. 

"no more." 



2011ntroduction

It's been -almost- three years since I created this blog.
This place has become my second* spiritual Home.
I visit a lot even when I don't constantly post because,
just being here brings me peace.

For this new year I want to start
posting songs which I have written,
or remix I have edited from other songs,
I also want to post more photos and poems in spanish.
-lately I have felt as if my spanish is becoming weaker
and weaker, y no me esta gustando eso!-

I am also thinking of having a translator link site
on the website for those who don't speak spanish so that
they may have an idea of what I am talking about in the poems.

I might not post for a while or I might. Right
now I want to do an overall review of my poems in order
to judge myself. I know I need to edit some. I have seen a
big grammar issue in a lot of them. You know, house keeping stuff.

So, I hope everyone is having a great head of start of the year.
2011 is going to be full of changes, constant changes so I am hoping
to be able to stay in task. I been a little out of the world lately
but I am trying to stay as tight to myself as possible. Thank You.

Sincerely,

The author.

The Ironic similarities of my life through Hamlet's soliloqy

To love or not to love- that is the question:

Whether ‘tis easier to open up to the heart

And allow these lips to touch yours

Or to stay away from pain, sorrow

And deceptions. And, by refusing

You, save the last pieces of my heart.

To kiss, to stop our bodies from being together—

No more—and by kissing to say we fall in love,

We fall to the moon, the stars and those few

People that know about this Love- Tis a consummation

I wish to face.

To reject you, to stop the heart-

To stop, perchance list the dreams of the mind.

Ay, there’s the rub,

For in that mind lie insane desires.

Mind and heart colliding chaotic

In our secret place. To reject you

In exchange for your lack of affection.

Must give you pause. Food for thought.

There is the respect for Love, if you have any.

For who would sit here and wait for uncertainty,

For promises written over text. While I watch the girl

Of your past steal my place.

The disappointment of going through hell

To convince you love me.

The Fie to not be able to let go.

The tears you promise never let me drop.

Who shall I account this pain for?

For who deserves the sorrow given,

The stress put through,

The selfishness of thy words,

The gossips discuss,

That makes this heart bleed sweat

Since blood has no more.

For who are these two hours of affection enough?

Thus thy sweet lips could make any

Sorrow disappear, and thus thy words

Promise a better future.

Is tentative to surrender to thy touch.

Of to which my heart beats slow

Allowing me to count the hours, days,

Left to go,

And only thy affection could rebirth the hope

And only moments of attention could bend back my decision to let go.

And lose the sense of reasoning just for thy Love.

~unwinding cable cars

Let her come to you.
If its something worth it
she will come back and fight
for it; if she gets lost in her way
back its because it was never meant to
happen and I rather you know the truth and end it as
early as possible than wait for a change that
might never come. Remember the truth hurts but it
keeps you off from being a fool.

Life lesson unheard

2 days and I already miss you.
I mean, it must be obvious
to the eyes of the world
that I need it you to be
my salvation. This change
was my last hope before
really giving up on my heart.

I always wonder why everytime
I found something special, a rock
would come in between and break it,
as if I didn't deserve it.

Whether you meant it or
whether it's over, I'm in pain again.
My heart is already bleeding sweat;
Yes, sweat. Because I have no blood left.

Perhaps life is trying to show
me something and I'm too busy gazing
at my wound to notice.
I wish I could be able to control
the bleeding for a little while
so that I can concentrate in the lesson
that life is trying to teach me.

P. 60

Can't clearly

remember the day
I let go of myself.
I've been so detached,
so distant from my own
tenets. All I remember
is people expecting the best
of me and I -the lonely victim-
instantly living for those
expectations. I guess,
from that point on I haven't
touch a single side of the
real me. I encourage others
to fight for who they are
with wise words that sometimes
I don't believe, myself. But I'm so
scared of anyone getting
to the point I am that, I run them
out as if they were part
of my vocabulary, already.
-which they are-.


I'm tired of living for the
expectations of a world that I
don't belong to. To follow
certain rules of which I don't
believe on. To dress, speak,
act in certain ways that do
not reflect the least marginal
of myself.

It is interesting
how I see myself reflected
through the fears of those
I know. Therefore you could
conclude that I might be just a little
of every mistake made, chunked together.
I have no definition, no
concrete stabilize shape or
form or personality.


But Lately,
I find myself analizing ME.
Urged to find that simple explanation
of what I really might be made of.
I have always been good at decoding
my surrounds. To read in their
faces their most intimate desire
as if I could read their mind -
thank God I don't. but I
also thank God for that gift
that I constantly explore-
So I take deep looks at myself
in the mirror and stare long
enough to forget my name.
I try asking myself these random
questions, expecting my mind
to formulate the answers that
I might hide from myself.


beyond my eyes I experience
something that no one
gets to see. I see a light that
I don't recognize. I see a genuine
smile.I see that lost Hope.
I try to convince myself, that
Hope is me. That the light shining
through my pupils, is really who I am.
I beg for that light to stay
But it dissapears as
soon as I remember who I am.
I miss me.
I miss smiling for no reason,
I miss dressing as I wish
with my heavy accesories and
dark colors. I miss life.

-if I ever lived one-
 I have fallen so behind

of everything I hoped to be.
I feel my brightness fade
with each breaking dawn
and strangely the only place
where I feel I truly belong,
is that temple everyone
forgets and understimates.
I am as transparent as
the cristalines waters of
the manantial but, this place
goes beyond of what my emotions
might describe. As if the warmth
of its peace, rips my clothes off
and discovers the ME underneath
all these titles, sins, temptations
mistakes, weaknessess I dress myself with.
They always wonder why I cry when I'm at
mass. And I wonder how they DON'T cry.
I feel so overwhelmed with forgiveness
because, He wants me to forgive myself.
I wonder how they can't experience that.
I pray, one day they might see what I see.

I regret ever allowing to let go of myself.
I do not believe in that crap
of "there are not regrets just lessons learned"
heck yes. I have many regrets. And yes I have
learned my lessons but, there must be regrets
in order to know what path to avoid,in order to
not fall in the same, exact hole, same exact
dark phase. Because after all, life is just
as complicated as it might seem, a combination
of phases that goes as roller coster's in where ones decides
how to react but cannot fully change one's situation.
Only its prospective. Only its way to respond. Only
its way to overcome it.



Unleashed Monster

I have become a monster.
That which do not feel
neither needs a heart.

Now that I have
unleash this side of me
I find unnecessary to go back
to who I used to be.

Friendships falling apart,
Wrong decisions,
Ugly sides of weaknesses.
And selfish love.

Watching pieces of who
I used to be float in the air
and not recognizing them.
Pretending to feel, when
all I have are empty holes.

"Im not the same!!"
screams my mind.
but who listens?
the sky, the dark inane
road of life that I have
selfishly twisted to feed
my thirsty hole. My dark,
empty hole.

I need a light.
I need my shine.
I need my spark.
I want to find myself
in the mirror, again.
I hope is not too late.